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Writer's pictureDesiree Houle

From Worrier to Warrior

Months have gone by since I started my new journey. I have never been so consistent with anything else in my life. Everyday, I find myself listening to podcasts, journaling, meditating and doing personal development. Even on weekends when my routine is thrown off. It may not go exactly like I plan during the week, but I sure get it in part of my day. Why?

It’s working.


Let’s break down what has changed. These fluctuate, everyday is not perfect and I have still have bad days that spiral into weeks. My daily life has improved one hundred percent, even the rough patches aren’t nearly as rough as they used to be.


Money

It’s not a secret that I used to struggle consistently with money. Ever since I began to shift my mindset in the spring, I have no had issues for the majority of this year. I have a decent paying job and although it’s the toughest work I’ve ever done, I know it’s worth it to help me get to where I really want to be. I worked many more hours this year than I planned thanks to Covid, but I’m also accepting the fact that it was the Universe encouraging me to have financial freedom. At first I was incredibly bummed that I had to work through my summer, until miraculously I had one of the best summers to date. I made it work, I did what I had to do, and still had the fun I deserve. There are the little miracles that happened which gives me extra income ever so often, whether it’s a bonus or something like my hormone protocol ending which eliminates some supplement requirement. It’s hard to explain, but things are just starting to work for me. I’ve started a business that I would have never considered before. Something that gives me and others joy, that I can help serve others and feel good about. My business has began to have success, which gives me more of a weekly income. Groceries aren’t costing me as much, gas for my car is cheaper and my benefits cover almost all of my medical and dental costs. All of these things would have happened before, I just could not see how fortunate I am. I have paid off three year old debts, pay all my bills in advance, redecorated my entire bedroom, and started a savings account for the first time in my life. The crazy part of all this is the extra money I still have. I’m no longer looking at my account everyday to see if I can afford luxuries. I have paid for races and events for 2021, something I never could do before because I feared both not being able to go, and not having money to spare at the moment. Now I go out every weekend (mostly just to restaurants, thanks Covid), and buy my wants without worrying if I can.


SIBO and Hormones

This is the part I’m most excited about, I mean this is why I started this whole journey to begin with. I’m getting there. Most days with the exception of some hours; I’m pain free. This is huge for me. Before, when I was playing the victim, I was in pain all hours of the day. I couldn’t even get a good nights rest. I’m so ecstatic to say that I have made such an improvement. I’ve also worked on my eating disorder so much this year. After listening to my Nutritionists giving me a “do not eat” list I was so afraid of consuming anything that wasn’t on my tiny “do eat” list. I fear foods a lot less now, I’m eating vegetables, fruits and protein that I previously would have avoided. I also indulge in my own low sugar sweets just for the pure intention of health instead of fearing the consequences. When I do have store bought cookies or chips, I practice moderation instead of binging. My energy is at an all time high. I no longer use any sort of caffeine and haven’t for months. I was drinking Matcha towards the end and felt as though I didn’t need it. Going without daily caffeine is a huge win for someone who works night shifts, trains daily and is starting a business. I’m also back at the gym and feeling more like myself everyday. Furthermore, I have decided to invest in a coach to help me obtain fitness goals that I have been working towards for years.


Mood and Mindset

I’ve never believed in the Law of Attraction more than I do right now. Ever since I got back to work, I’ve been on such a high frequency and I know others can feel positivity from me. I’m more social with others, laughing, joking and getting to know others better. I don’t dread work anymore, instead I’m viewing it as a way to see some friends. I’m also waking up full of gratitude and wondering what new exciting thing will happen that day. Lately, it’s been almost a new event everyday. From work situations changing to things opening up after Covid. I can see the joy in life, instead of worrying what is going to go wrong. I don’t fear the future anymore because I know the Universe is taking care of me. If my life does take a turn, I know in every part of my body I will be able to handle it. I’ve let a lot of the past go, realizing that punishing myself over it hasn’t done any good. I can see how I have become a better person, and I’m always striving to be even better. Less judgemental, more forgiving and always learning to go with the flow.


Synchronicities

The Universal signs have also changed. I still see 11:11 quite frequently but I’m also drawn to other numbers as well. More recently, it has been triple digits such as, 222, 444, 555 and the occasional 9:11. They seem more blunt and obvious to me, especially after I’ve made a pretty big decision and I’m being confirmed that it was the right choice. I don’t have to take a look at the clock anymore, they’re everywhere. I see them on license plates, my bank account balance, the amount due on my grocery receipt and even somewhere as random as the amount of likes on a celebrities Instagram. One time I was pumping my gas and let it fill completely up. When I went inside to pay, the amount was $37.63; the exact amount left on my gift card. I like to think of them of gentle reminders to be grateful that I’m on this new path of my life. When I see these signs, I sit back, smile and know that I’m being guided and it gives me such a sense of relief and happiness to know I’m healing.


While writing it dawned on me, what I have been feeling is happiness. Wow, I guess it has been a while. I’m not always daydreaming about how awesome my life is, but I have taken so many more steps forward these last few months and it really shows. Don’t give up, the changes you need in your life won’t happen overnight. Life is a marathon not a sprint.

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